SOMETIMES

Sometimes, we wonder. We come back home and she's angry. Slamming things around. We quickly think back, did we forgot to throw the trash out, we didn't forget. Did we left a cupboard slightly ajar and didn't close it fully, no. Did we left some stuff and forgot to put it back at the same spot, no? What else?? Quickly think. Maybe we didn't do anything. Should we hide? Should we speak to her gently?

Sometimes we see some things that are really scary. We were scared, we wanted to do something or say something, but we were scared.

Once it happened to us, we hid in the toilet through the day. How many hours? We don't really remember. Miserable, just waiting for dad to come home, then we peek, and ran to him and hide behind him.

Sometimes we wish they would stop, constantly fighting, shouting. Slamming doors. We got frightened. Then we pretend that we are okay, so that they would stop fighting. Make everyone happier. 

Sometimes they blame us, sometimes it's our fault.

Sometimes she just bangs the door and yell for us, and it gave us a fright. Constantly.

It becomes a habit, we responded with fear. Then we realized oh, it's okay.

It's like walking on egg shells constantly. In this house.

Sometimes we took the lift to the highest floor and look down, and wonder if we could jump down.

But we were only 15.

Sometimes, we wonder.. is this normal?

One time, it was too much, they hated us, and we hated them. 

So we left. 

We hid in a safe space, and we watched them with glee.

 We couldn't hear them, and they couldn't hear us.

It didn't matter what they said, didn't matter what they screamed.

They simply faded away

We held on to each other, no one can reach us here