Tuesday, November 1, 2022

1 November 2022 Journal

 Oh no oh no, All this decisions that I need to make, is so hard for me. my god, I'm so undecisive. 

First is the interview tomorrow, I guess I just have to go right? Since the agent actually put so much effort to coordinate this interview, I would feel really bad if I cancel on them. I should probably go and find out more on the work.

2nd is my sessions with Michael, should I continue with weekly session or just once every 2 weeks?

hmmmmm. I should probably find someone with more experience in trauma and dissociation disorder?

But I don't want to change counselor though. and I  probably shouldn't bother, since I can't talk about it.

$320 or $640 🤔 Should I flip a coin?

But, what should we do when we struggle with the memory, get too overwhelm and start cutting ourselves again.

I think it really hurts us when we see what we do to ourselves and watch ourselves bleed.

Conversation with mom just now:

ME: Mommy~ did you see my black beaded bracelet?

MOM: what do u mean?  You're always disorganized and losing you stuff why are you asking me? Your room is dirty and messy, I don't even touch your stuff! 

ME: You just re organized my desk yesterday, what do you mean you don't touch my stuff.

MOM: smiles cheekily and quietly walks away.

ME: ROLL EYES

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