My brain is riling from all the things that I want to do in mind. They are scattered here and there and I try to keep up with them. Oh right, I was suppose to call imh regarding medifund, I got lost doing this and that and this and then forgot about it.
My thoughts raced from doing a to do list for work, then for things to do at home, to the invoice that I should have issued 2 days ago, and it's still not done until now. I took my personal files of receipts and mc from the cupboard and then now I seem to forgot what I wanted to do with them. I think I wanted to file it with my imh receipt and other personal receipts and bring them home so that it will be kept private. Right.
In the midst of all that, I top up the papers for the printer, boiled water for office and tidy up the scattered boxes and papers on the office desk. Enough about all this.
Of course I wanted to write about my last session. I waited 15mins for my turn. I was slightly early and Dr Geoffrey was slightly late. That 10 mins of waiting, makes me anxious, and I was angry when I finally walked into the therapy room.
I was flustered but tried not to show it, there was a hint of feeling extremely unhappy and a bit angry because we felt like we were not important to him. Not me. Anger. okay, it was her.
Of course I don't want to talk about That to my therapist. Imagined feeling so petty just because we waited for 10mins. God, so childish and embarrassing, and Dr Geoffrey wonders why we don't like Anger. I know this anger doesn't make sense in that moment, so I don't react or act on it. That makes sense to me.
Anger had a lot of fun last session, because Dr Geoffrey kept validating the Anger. Which kind of makes me want to roll my eyes during mid session. That glee and impression of "told you so" wouldn't leave my mind.
He kept asking about Mae, and it's so annoying. I constantly kept feeling like floating away, but I tried so hard not to. That feeling to just tap out felt so easy.
We shouldn't talk about him, or her. some things cant even be written here.
some things should be buried, no matter what Dr Geoffey says.
Now I feel bad, because he spent such a long time, talking about he who should not be name or the monsters under the bed.
And the first instinctive reaction is still about keeping them buried. He must feel disappointed.
Anger feels torn because she doesn't want to make him feel disappointed, but she also can't talk about the terror. Finally something that we agree on! not ever talking about it!
I have no qualms about the therapist feelings, I'm sure he is professional and patient enough.
I think I realized what dr geoffrey was talking about when he said a neighbors, I said a family member! what an idiot.
But because of what he said, Now I remember other things, and I'm so sick of it!
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