The anger was quite prominent for the last 2 weeks. I have an idea why. I was quite overwhelmed with the emotions so I started cutting myself again.
I was quite disappointed, I haven't harm myself for the whole month of Dec. Maybe with the thought of dying soon on christmas day, just make it seem a relief, and that makes me feel like I don't need to cut myself anymore?
I could tell that Lawrence is really skilled and good at what he does. I guess a specialise trauma therapist is really good for me? He had really helped me deal with Anger a lot, I also felt that he could deal with us when I was dissociating. Well, obviously I don't really remember (roll eyes) but I just had a sense of feeling safe when I was out of it.
Quite a vast difference with Michael. I guess someone who doesn't do trauma therapy often just isn't better equipped to help me.
I've never imagined that Lawrence would be able to helped me so much. Well, I'm really glad that he hasn't bring up that incident since I spaced out last time. I'm really good with that.
He is so opened with Anger, it really helps that we addressed Anger as a 3rd person. After the session though, I can't help wondering is it weird??? to be talking about anger as a 3rd person. I'm pretty sure I don't have d.i.d. Maybe just the other non specific d.d..
We really missed Dr G. there is a kind of pain associated with him, and I'm not sure why. Maybe it's the transference. I really don't mean to, but part of us begins to think of ways to make him uncomfortable. but WHY though? why do we do that? we obviously like him, I guess we are feeling petty and mischievous. will he drop us?
we waited half a year for therapy sessions. why shouldn't we feel anger? Anger is really trying very hard to be heard. I feel like I just cant ignore her..
No comments:
Post a Comment